Advice Column 001: The Fear of Pitching

It's a lot harder than "just doing it."

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

Dear Morgan,

I’m a thirtysomething-year-old Black, gay man who has a ton of stories that I’d like to write but I’m always afraid to hit send on an email. I didn’t go to journalism school, I don’t have an MFA, and I’m still learning about how the media industry works. It all seems so easy for other people to get stories in certain places. How do you get over the fear of pitching?

Boy oh boy oh boy. I have gotten this question for as long as I’ve been a professional writer. And I have a bit of bad news for you: You don’t.

Let me start off by saying that your feelings are very valid. Especially in this particular climate. When I started pitching several years ago, things were different. There were all kinds of blogs, such as The Hairpin, The Toast, The Awl, [fill in the blank], where newbies like myself could experiment and have more of a cushion to fail. Our pitches or even our stories didn’t have to be super, super polished. Somehow, we found our way as we found our voices and audiences.

But now those blogs aren’t running. Many verticals and publications have shuttered and therefore, the editors who you may have worked with in 2015-2016, may now be a freelancer just like you. The competition is stiff. And what doesn’t make it better is that those former staffers already have contacts and know how to create a pitch. In short, it’s much harder now.

But there’s always going to be someone who knows more than you.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: I never got over my fear. I know it too well.

Sometimes when you’re super excited about a story and you’re putting yourself out there for the first time, it can be terrifying. You’re afraid of being rejected over something that you put your heart and soul into because you may believe that it’s an indication of your lack of talent or drabness of the story itself.

Here’s the good news: Neither of those thoughts is true.

Now I don’t know about you but I am an anxiety-ridden person. And if you are too, understand that when I say “Don’t take it personal,” I really mean it.

Editors, like writers, are human beings too, and they reject stories for so many reasons beyond your control. Here are some examples:

1. They already published a story like yours not too long ago and don’t want a repeat.

2. They’ve already assigned a story like this to another freelancer or someone on staff.

3. Their plates are already full with other stories that need editing and cannot give your story the time and space that it deserves in order for your words to truly sing.

And yes, there are reasons that you may get rejected because the editor doesn’t know you or the pitch needs more refining, but you’ll never know unless you try.

Everyone. Literally everyone gets rejected. It doesn’t matter if that person is a New York Times bestselling author, a Guggenheim Fellow, a MacArthur Genius—you get the picture. Once you realize that no one successful person gets everything they want the moment that they want it, you will loosen the reins of the outcome and put yourself out there.

Think of it like dating. Not every person is going to like you and you are not going to like every person. The best part about pitching editors is at least you don’t have to dress up and get in front of them. All you have to do is click send. That’s it.

And remember: all it takes is one yes.

I was rejected more times than I could count before I finally got published in The Atlantic, one of the publications I had admired for so long.

I was rejected multiple times by The Guardian until one day, the same editor who I’d been pitching, emailed me and said, “Hey, you’ve been pitching a lot, wanna take on this assignment?”

I’ve been rejected from editors who were kind enough to recommend editors of other publications that I can pitch.

Once you grasp that these editors don’t know you and you don’t know them, then you can disentangle your ideas of self-worth or your story’s worth from one or even multiple editors.

There’s someone out there who wants the story that you have. There is an audience for it. Trust me.

And if you still don’t believe me, here’s another piece of practical advice to help take the load off: Make a list of at least three publications where you can see your story being placed. That way, you won’t feel so pressured or tied to a single publication. And if you do get rejected from one place, it’ll sting less. Ask me how I know.

Perhaps the task is not to eliminate the fear altogether but to rather acknowledge the fear and still do whatever it is that you want to do anyway. I promise you that as you ease into pitching and understanding the rhythm, that fear will get smaller and smaller, potentially only returning when you pitch someplace or someone new.

I hope to see your byline soon.

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